If you're reading this, thank you. I really appreciate every pageview I get; it means someone cared enough to click on it, and if you've gotten this far, you care enough to continue reading.
The more I blog, the more I realize there isn't a right way to do it, despite what I thought when I first started. And what I'm realizing is that there doesn't need to be a mapped-out plan to a blog. Come to think of it, there doesn't need to be a mapped-out plan to anything. You just let it come out of you. No, it doesn't matter if it's grammatically sound and the syntax is varied. Each post certainly does not need to be proofread with a fine-tooth comb. But as a high school sophomore with no experience in the blogosphere, I wanted my Internet footprint to reflect my perfectly manicured, formulaic writing style.
I thought I had a voice.
But I realized I didn't.
Actually, I had really just been ignoring that voice. I had one; it was latent. I had been trained to write what I thought I was supposed to, and disregarding my own opinions. I started writing my blogs in this way.
Why?
I didn't know any other way. But day after day, I broke down the barriers and let my voice come through.
When I decided to do my yearlong blogathon in 2011, I was excited to start blogging again. It had been a year since I had last blogged about traveling. It's one of those things that once you start, and you eventually stop, you miss it. I never thought I would miss blogging when my year was up. Every day that year I posted something on my blog, and it became a huge part of my life. Sometimes it felt like a chore. Probably because it was--I was on a strict, self-imposed blogging regimen. And if I didn't post, well, that just wasn't going to happen.
I actually learned a lot from that particular project. My original platform for the blog was based off of a new year's resolution to find happiness in little things.
But 2011 was a rough year for a lot of reasons that I won't go into detail about. And on some really impossibly difficult days I found myself crying at the computer, struggling to put a positive spin on that day's post.
That's not really finding happiness, is it? I thought it was what I was supposed to do. After all, it was my original plan. And original plans can't possibly change, 16-year-old me asserted.
How can I write about my happiness when I'm not happy? When things are falling apart? Life isn't about turning every disaster into a laugh-it-off moment. And once I came clean and began writing honestly, I could change the course of my blog to writing about finding meaning in the little things, and appreciating the happiness that came along the way.
I was fairly pleased with the outcome of the whole process, and when I metaphorically closed the book on that project, I was not ready to start a new blog the next day.
I am now.
The other day I was sitting in the college library after my 9am class. I was staring off into space, distracted by some kid who just couldn't get comfortable in his swivel chair and felt the need to let it squeak and screech for a solid 10 minutes. I forced myself back to taking notes on a chapter about the social cognitive theory. Generalized imitation can occur when the observer is reinforced directly by the model of the behavior, or by a third party.
For whatever reason, third party stuck in my head. Third party, third party, what actually is a third party? It sounded political. Or businesslike. So I looked it up to see the official dictionary definition.
This is what Google seems to think a third party is:
a person or group besides the two primarily involved in a situation, esp. a dispute.
Someone who is not involved, a bystander. Well aren't we all bystanders in some way? We've all been in the middle of something before, but not actively involved. We've all witnessed something or been somewhere as just observers.
So then the other day I was in the shower when I had a revelation. This revelation had multiple components to it, so needless to say I was up late making it all happen.
The first part: Hey, I haven't blogged in awhile. I miss that. [pause] That's it, I'm starting a new blog. It's gonna be new, fresh, something totally different.
The second part: I'll call it 'third party'. Like someone's outside-looking-in perspective on anything that comes to mind. Basically a stream of consciousness in a blog.
So the more I thought about it the more I hesitated to do it. Do I have time to blog? Do I really want to get back into it again? What if it doesn't take off? I might run out of things to say. It might be totally lame and dumb. I might be wasting my time.
I have a tendency to start projects and never finish them. I've started so many projects that would be worthwhile if I cared enough to finish them. I came close to publishing a novella a few years back, if only I hadn't gotten bored and shoved it in a box under my bed where it still is right now.
Yet at the same time, my hyperactive tendencies need some sort of outlet. A productive outlet that gives me something to do that feels good and is something that I can finish. The answer: a blog. A new blog.
So in my bathrobe I started creating this blog. And I didn't sleep until it was done.
If you've followed my other blogs there are a few things about them that I will not do with this blog. One of those things is posting every day. I did this for my travel blog and for my other one, and this becomes too much of a chore, and frankly, a bore. So I decided this will not be a daily updated blog. I won't be the blogger who posts 4 times a year; I plan to post often. The idea is that once I have a good idea for a post, I'll write.
Also, this is not a travel blog. I'm not writing about my adventures abroad. It's not a year-long intensive spiritual, introspective-cleansing either. It's just me writing about whatever I want, whenever I want to, and that's extremely liberating for me because I have no boundaries here. I'm allowing myself to free the things that lurk in the recesses of my mind--the things that peeve me, the things that make me happy, the things that make me laugh, the things that make me feel, the people who touch my life, my little bits of advice.
Life's more interesting when you can remember it. When you can process it. Drifting wearily and passively through life doesn't give you anything to laugh about, cry about, bond over, talk about, and most importantly remember, when you're old and looking back on your life.
So here is my little bit of advice to you: take everything you've ever thought you've wanted and ignore it. Approach everything equally, with an even-tempered attitude to everything. Don't hesitate to try something you've never done--say yes to it before you can think about it. Start living you're life. Because if you're not living, you're just existing.
cheers,
m
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